Coercion was never on my radar until after my ex-husband moved out, but it was there throughout my life. It’s all over our lives and we can’t see it because we’re all conditioned to think it’s normal, but within Christianity it’s so much worse.
Growing up, my parents, friends, even teachers coerced me into various things, and it was normal because I was just a kid. What did I know? I had to rely on adults to tell me what to do. Autonomy isn’t a thing for kids, right? People didn’t ask what I thought, they told me what to think. They didn’t invite me to join them in things, they teased and ridiculed me when I didn’t want to.
So when I was presented with the Christian religion, it wasn’t unusual to experience people telling me I’d be punished if I didn’t go along with them. It wasn’t a red flag to be told God died for my sin and I owed him my life in exchange for this “gift” of his. And it didn’t seem odd when I was told my husband required the same worship… or else.
There were rules to life, relationships, and faith. Rules told me what was polite, acceptable, and worthy of God’s favor. Autonomy was selfish. Following these rules would keep the narcissism of autonomy at bay.
