The Fairy & The Gargoyle - Part 1

An allegory for love in a poem, and some thoughts on self love

May 18, 2024

The other evening, right before the end of my workday I was finishing up an email to a colleague when an image of a gargoyle popped into my head. I’ve learned not to question things like this, nor fight against them. I’m open to receiving messages, though I did clock out before I let this one in.

Over the next 20 minutes I scrambled to get the words down before moving into the kitchen to make dinner. After hanging with my kids for awhile and helping them clean up the kitchen, I took a glass of wine to my room and polished it up.

I’m excited to share this quick little allegory. It feels like a part one to something beyond me, but I’ll just have to wait for the rest to come to me. I’m living in the moment these days, so for now, this is all there is.

Hunched in the brush, he spies on her as she dances
He can feel the source alight within him 
When her eyes catch hold of his
He races from behind the branches
Crushing the leaves beneath him on his way
Begging his gods for the riz

Her face brightens when she sees him
Watching the light of the sunset 
Dance atop his feathery flaxen hair
Her smile beams at him as she takes his hand
And holds close the child within him
Whom she would take with her anywhere

Harps play her song in the distance
And she asks him if he'd like to dance
Her silky wings spreading wider with the request
Though he fears he can't dance
He steps forward to meet her
And holds her as they move
His chest to her breast

As the strings trill on
She revels in his beauty
Lets loose the stories of him that fill her mind when he’s not there
Her eyes flutter as she laughs 
And holds him tighter
Because he is the friend she’s longed for above every other

He trembles slightly as her head lay on his shoulder
A flood of warmth filling his wounded heart
There are so many places he wants to take her
Dreams he'd like to live out by her side
The sweetness of her is a craving he can't stop
Even a day without her would tear his world apart
Trying hard to stay in the moment
He hears a voice from his past saying, "Go! Run! Hide!"

And then from the corner of his eye
He sees a mirror that once hung on the tree
But it's fallen like his courage 
Followed by his hands from her dress
And gone is the boy's jubilee

He sees the puss and the horns
And the crowded teeth of a bat-winged beast
He's shorter now as he falls backward to the ground
His fairy is puzzled and slightly amused
She thinks he's tripped over his cape
And she laughs like she's just seen a clown

Her fair-faced prince is all tangled in weeds
So she offers her hand to lift him to his feet
Beaming with love for this boy on his bum
She falls harder for him now
Can’t imagine how
She could ever leave him alone in his kingdom

He cowers in the grass at the sound of her laughter
For his wounds she's just slashed
And his ego she's crushed
There’s nothing more painful than what’s to come after

“Leave me now,” he snarls
Moving away from the sight of her gaze
Confused, she offers her hand again
Only to be met with a louder growl 
And in his eyes a smoky haze

She doesn’t see the mirror
She doesn’t see what he sees
“My love, you’ve only stumbled, I can help—”
But a sudden knowing comes to her on a breeze

His wings crackle open 
And she can see now a sliver of his silver skin
The spear of his words
Sinks in and she’s heard
His self loathing is a demon that belongs to him
This is a fight she cannot win

With the wisdom of her ancestors she steps back
She knows what’s being asked of her
She’s never met a pain like this
Not even with the loss of her mother

Her prince is gone
His mirror too
And she watches as the round-backed beast climbs into the sky
The grass is beginning to bounce back
The weight of him gone
And she’s left in the quiet and the cold of the night

The scream that rips through her 
Has never been heard before
It’s a soul-stretching cry
That reaches across the astral and onto another shore

When it’s done
She’s left undone
Wondering what spirit has taken her over
Baffled and bruised
She’s alone and confused
And longing for the laugh of her lover

The Book

I’ve finalized the title, chapters, and layout for my book finally and I’ve been just rearranging pages and adjusting type. I’ve got a page for poetry linked at the top of the page if you’re reading this on the website. I’ve been dropped snippets of things there for paid subscribers.

The book is called Love Makes Life Listen and the chapters are Little, Learning, Lovers, Losers, Loyal, Listen, and Love. I’m hoping to finish a final proof copy when I go on my writing retreat at the end of May. Self-publishing isn’t where the money is, but it’s where my creativity is free and I’m under no deadline but my own.